Friday Was So Much Fun! School Wasn't... I Had To Ask The Principle If I Could Go To The Carnival, Cause Im Not Allowed To Go To School Dances. I Told Her I Had A Date With This Girl I Really Liked. And Since The Principle Liked Me She Said It Was Ok. I Got To Brook's House Around 4:00. She Looked So Pretty, And She Was Wearing My Favorite Color... Red. I Gave Her A Rose. I Know Its Kind Of Corny But Girls Like Flowers...Right? We Had So Much Fun At The Carnival, I Tried To Win Her A Giant Stuffed Bear... But They Where Out! How Could They Be Out Of Giant Teddy Bears? So I Got A Medium Sized Gorilla That Well.... Kind Of Scared Me! I Dont Know What Happened To That Thing. Then We Went Of The Farris Wheel... Im Glad She Ain't Scared Of Heights Like Johnny Is, Cause We Got Stuck On The Top! Brook Was Getting Cold So I Hugged Her. We Watched The Sun Set...It Reminded Me Of The Time When Johnny And I Were In The Church And That Nothing Gold Can Stay Poem. But Im Not Bringing That Up On Our Date. We Looked Up At The Stars And She Kissed Me! :D Then Finally It Started Working. We Ate So Much Junk Food That When We Went Of Another Roller coaster I Almost Pucked, Glad I Didn't. Then It Started Snowing So The Had To Close Down! It Got Freezing!(Note To Self: Check What The Weather Is Suppose To Be Like In The Morning.) We Called Home And Got Kitty To Drive Us Home. When We Got There Brook And I Separated. I Hung Around Johnny... I Could Tell Something Was On His Mind, And He Told Me "Im Thinking Of Breaking Up With Kristi." When He Said It I Thought He Was Going To Cry. It Was Something About, She's Moving And He'd Only See Her In The Summer... He Was So Upset Her Drank All The Cola In The House! I Couldn't Really Stay Focused On What Johnny Was Doing Cause I Was Thinking About Brook... We Need To Go On Another Date. I Took One Of The Bottles Of Beer And Soda Gave Me This Look, I Could Tell He Didn't Want Me To Have Any, But Finally He Said I Could Have One. Any More And He'd Skin Me. Haha! When Everyone Was Cleaning Up, Brook And I Slipped Out. It Was Still SUPER Cold Out. I Gave Her A Hug And Kissed Her... Until Johnny And Dawn Came Out And Asked If Brook Was Ready To Go. It Was Hard To Got To Sleep After That, And It Got Harder When Darry Got All Upset That There Was A Guy In His Bed.... With His Little Sister. :D

Sad Night?

Johnny Has Been Down Lately, So I Invited Him To Go To The Movies With Kristi And I. I Wasn't Sure If I Wanted To Break Up With Kristi Or Not... Well We Saw Some Stupid Movie, About A Boy In Love. It Was GROSS!! But We Had Fun Making Fun Of The Characters. I Don't Think I've Ever Seen Johnny Soo Loud. Johnny Let Me Listen To Brittney Spears In The Car <3 He Doesn't Like To Admit He Owns A Lot Of Brittney Spears Music. :) I Walked Kristi To The Door And Kissed Her Goodbye. I Started To Walk Away, When I Heard Her Scream. Johnny Came Running. And There Was Kristi's Mom, Dead On The Floor. She Seemed To Be Shot Mulitiple Times Twice In The Head And 4 In Her Chest/ Stomach Area. I Hugged Kristi And She Started To Cry. We Brought Her Over To The Neighbors House And Called The Police. Kristi Was To Scard To Let Go Of Johnny And I, She Thought The Murder Was After Her Too. So I Brought Her Home, And Explained The Story To Soda, Darry, And Kitty. Johnny Was Hugging Kristi Trying To Make Her Laugh. Then Something Hit Me. Johnny Really Cared About Kristi, She Was His Best Girl Friend. Johnny Was Always Smiling Around Her. Then To Break This Thought, Kristi Asked "Can I Stay The Night, Pony?" Darry Gave Me This Look, "No, It's A School Night!" He Said. "Where Elsa Is She Supose To Say?" I Asked Him And Before Darry Could Answer Johnny Said "My House! Pony You Can Come Too!" But Ofcoarse Darry Was Like "You Haven't Slept Here In A Week Your Staying.I Think It's Time For You Two, To Be Going." Before They Left, Kristi Said She Wanted To Break Up. Something About How She'd Have To Move Back To New York And Junk. I Was Sad Cause I Was Losing My Girlfriend... But That Means Johnny Will Let Me Date Brook. I Watched As Johnny And Kristi Left, And Johnny Kissed Her. Johnny Looked So Happy With Kristi.
~ Ponyboy Curtis

We're Gonna Go To A Club And Get Drunk With Britney!

Im Not Gonna Tell Ya What Happened At The Dance Friday, Cause U Dont Like Kristi... But Im Not Allowed To Go To Another Dance Till May. :( Haha! I've Been Sleeping At Johnny's House Since We've Made Up... Which Wasn't A Good Thing Cause We Forgot To Get Up Early To See Carson. I Guess Staying Up All Night Isn't Good For Waking Up Early. But We Were Only A Few Minutes Late?... I Think.
Next Time We Are SO Taking The Train. U Know How I Was Stabbed The Other Night, It Hurts Really Bad... And Darry Kept Hitting It With His Arm. :( The First Time I Made A Noise Expressing My Pain. I Dont Wanna Tell Dar, That I Went To That Party, Cause He Will Kill Me For Being SOOOO Stupid. So When He Asked "What Was Wrong" I Said "Nothing." Maybe Thats Why He Kept Hitting Me? I Think I Ate My Weight In Junk Food On The Way There. I Dont Think I Could Eat Any More Junk Like That.... I Take That Back. I Felt Bad For Darry, Cause In A Hotel Room They're Were Only 2 Beds.... And He Had To Sleep On The Floor. But I Got A Bed... Thats All I Care About. I Dont Know Why We Got Those Rooms, Cause We All Wanted To Spend The Night. But Darry Made Me Go Back To The Hotel Cause He "Didn't Want Me Up All Night" But There Isn't Enough Room In The Hospital For All Of Us.So I Think Blair And Steve Where The Only Ones Who Stayed. That Hotel Bed Is Better Then Mine At Home, So Once I Laid On It, I Was Out Like A Light. And I Had The Weirdest Dream Ever! <3 And For Once It Wasn't About Kristi! When I Told Johnny He Laughed At Me And Was Like, "She Has A Boyfriend."
~Ponyboy Curtis

Johnny! (Can I Call My Post That?)

Well, You Know By Know I Haven't Been Sleeping In My House For Awhile. I Stayed At Kristi's House The First Night, But She Thinks Im Sleeping In My House Right Now. I've Been Sleeping On The Streets. (How Did You Do It Johnny?) It Was So Cold Out I Just Couldn't Take It. There Was A Party Down The Street From Where I Was. I COuld Hear The Music Blasting. I Went It. It Was Like 8 Degrees Outside. I Waked In Relizing It Was Some Socs House (yet I Saw James There. Not Jamie) I Walked Over To There Food Table. I Thinking I Might As Well Eat While Im Here... But They Didn't Really Have Anything To Drink That Didn't Have Alcohal In It. So I Just Took The One That Looked Like It Had The Least, After I Drank A Few And Ate A LOT! I Remeber Hanging A Round Bob, Again. It Was Weird, He Hated My Guts And He Kept Trying To Hang Out With Me. I Founded Out Why Later. James, Well He Wasn't Really A Greaser. He Lied To Johnny, Like This Was All Planed. He'd Pretend To Be Johnny's BFF, But He Was Just Trying To Hurt Us. Well My 3rd Drink James Pulled Out A Gun And Put It To My Head. At First I Was Scard, Who Wouldn't Be (Other Then Dally.) But Then Anger Kicked In. Johnny My Best Friend, Wasn't Really Anymore And I Blamed James. And Here James, Putting A Gun To My Face Saying He's Gonna "Kill" Me. I Knew As I Wasn't Gonna Let They Same Damn Kid Kill Me. I Grabbed The Gun And Twisted His Hand Back. And He Let Go. I Pointed The Gun At Him And It Got Pretty Silent, I Could Only Hear My Heartbeating. I Wasn't Gonna Kill Em', But I Know Who I Could. I Put The Gun To My Head, I Heard James Mutter "Thats Better." Then Things Started To Flash I Hear Johnny, Yea Johnny. He Yelled "Pony, Dont! I Don't Wanna Lose My Best Friend Too!" Then The Next Thing I Remeber Was He Had The Gun That Was In My Hand And Started Beating The Crap Out Of James. When He Was Done, He Picked Me Up And Ran Out. He Was Kind Of Laughing While He Was Talking To Me. "Pony, When Did You Become So Stupid." I Felt Pain In My Side, It Was Bleeding And Johnny Had His Hand Over It Trying To Put Pressure On It. Then He Started Crying "Im Not Losing You Pony, Lets Take You Home."

Note + Johnny And I

I Just Wanna Tell You Guys That Im Sorry For The Bad Choices I've Made Recently. If You Knew All Of Them You'd Understand Why I Left, Even If It Wasn't For That Long. Just Last Night I Went To A Party And Got Mixed Up With The Wrong People. By That I Mean Bob, Yea I Was With Bob. And Johnny Im Sorry About The Stupid Things I Said.
Anyways Two-Bit And Dally Made Me Go 2 Johnny's Place So We Could "Talk It Out." Johnny Wasn't To Happy About It. Dally And Two-Bit Left Us. In The Beginning Johnny Was Just Yelling At Me, I Felt Really Bad. Yesterday Night Was Coming Back To Me, Bob Made Me Take Something. I Dont Know What It Was, But I Didn't Think It Make My Life Any Worse. But It Did. I Went To Johnny's House And I Wanted Him To Be My Friend Soo Bad I Said Some Stupid Things. And Maybe A Few Things About Brook, It Wasn't Anything Too Bad. It Wasn't Like I Said I Was Gonna Kill Her Or Something. But Just Mixtures Of The Bad Things I Did. When Johnny Was Yelling At Me I Kept Saying Im Sorry. Every Breath He Took I Said It. I Needed Him To Belive Me, He Was Making Me A Mess. I Was Falling And He Wasn't There To Catch Me. :'( The Johnny Finnally Stopped Yelling At Me. And He Said "I Dont Want The Gang To Break Up, Where A Family, Kind Of. So Im Gonna Put Up With You And We Can Pretend We Are Just Like We Where Before. But If You Put One Hand On My Sister, Your Gonna Wish You Were Dead." I Shook My Head Up And Down To Show I Understood. I Didn't Like The Deal. I'll Just Pretend We Didn't Make That Deal, And We Really Are Best Friends Again. So Brook, Johnny And I Agreed That I Can See You But He Has To Be There, And I Really Cant Touch You... At All.
And Im Not Really Sure Where Im Staying For Awhile. I Think I Might Just Sleep On The Street Like Johnny And I Used To. I Dont Wanna Come Home, But Im Sure I'll See Ya Guys. I Hope,
~ Ponyboy

Saturday

Well Kitkat Promised We Spend Saturday Together. I Swear We Spent At Least A Half An Hour Staring At Each Other. We Were Each Waiting For One Of Us To Say Something, Finally She Said Something. "Lets Go To The Movies, You Like That." I Blinked At Her, "I Dont Think Im Going To The Movies For Awhile." I Replied. Kit Wasn't Very Happy I Said That. We Ended Up Going On A Car Drive, To Johnny And Brook's Apartment. I Didn't Know Till We Got There And Kitty Said "I Want You To Work This Out With Johnny!" She Stayed In The Car And Made Me Go Up To The Apartment. I Knocked At The Door And I Was Happy To See Brook Open The Door And Invite Me In. I Haven't Yet Been Inside There House, But It Was Pretty Cool. Brook Called For Johnny, And Left To Get Dress And Stuff. I Dont Think Johnny Was Too Happy To See Me, And Guess Who Elsa Was There. James!(The One Who Replaced Me, Not Jamie)Johnny Didn't Even Listen To Me He Just Said Get Out. I Dont Think Anything Hurt More Then That, I Was Wrong. I Really Tried, To Talk To Johnny Even James Felt Bad For Me. (Here's The Thing That Really Hurt)He Said "I Dont Want You Being Around Brook." I Looked At Him Shocked,And Said "What Do You Mean, She Part Of The Gang. I'd Have To Stop Hang Around Them Too."
And Guess What He Said.... Really Guess, "Well Maybe You Shouldn't Be In The Gang." With That He Pushed Me Out The Door And Locked The Door. I Didn't Tell Kitkat That. I Just Told Her, That Johnny Wasn't Home.
After That We Went Out For Some Soda,(Haha! Like The Kind U Drink Not My Brother)I Saw Cherry There. I Tried To Avoid Her, But She Came To Me... And Hit Me. For A Girl She Could Sure Hit Hard. She Was Yelling At Me For The Way I Broke Up With Kristi. Well, That Helped Me Figure Out Why Kristi Was So Mad At Me... But I Dont Think I Can Fix It Cause Soda Wants To "Ground" Me From Her. I Wonder If That Means I Still Cant Ask Her To The Dance. On The Way Home I Must Of Looked Depressed Or Something Cause Kitkat Said "You Know I Love You Pony, Right?" I Looked Out The Window, At All The Things We Were Passing. I Wanted To Open The Door And Jump Out. I Didn't Want To Answer That Question. I Instead Just Moved Me Head Up And Down. So It Looked Like I Said Yes. I Could Tell That Kit Wanted Me To Say 'Yes, And I Love You Too.' But I Wasn't Going To. Why? Im Not Really Sure. She's My Sister, She Has To Love Me. When We Got Home I Told Darry That I Didn't Want To Be In The Gang Anymore. He Got A Little Mad. I Didn't Really Understand Why. When I Went To Bed I Could Hear Darry Talking To Kitkat About Me. And I Pack My Things,Now Im Ready To Leave At Anytime. I Dont Want To, But If It Makes Johnny Happy I Will.

:(

Haha! The Girl On The Side Is Kimmy, Kristi Gave Me That Pic Of Her, I Thought You'd Like To See What She Looked Like Before. Anyways, Johnny Blew Me Off Today! I Mean I Could Understand U Being Mad At Your Friend For Like A Day. But Not This Long!! I Mean Its Not Like Did Something To Stop Me From Drinking. So I Dont Get Him Being So Mad,I Learned My Lesson And I Stopped. I Spent The Day With, You'll Never Guess Who. Darry, (Brother Time). But All He Did Was Complain That I Was Being A Pain In The Butt or He'd Tell Me Im Doing Something Wrong. I Hate When Darry Does That, He Acts Like He's My Father, But Guess What HE'S NOT!! Guess What Elsa Darry Told Me, I Should Get A Job. Like I Really Have That Much Time, Maybe If I Drop Out Of School Like Soda, But Im Not. I'd Tell Ya About School On Friday, But It Wasn't Too Good. Kristi Told Me Not To Sit With Her At Lunch, She Wanted To Continue To Do The Not Talking At School Thing. And I Think Bob Was Trying 2 Get Back At Cherry By Hitting On Kristi, (Here's The Good Part,) Kristi Got So Mad At Him, She Dumped His Milk On His Head. I Sat Alone At Lunch, IDK Y, I Couldn't Find Anyone. And Then 4 Some Reason She Was Mad At Me After School, What Really Annoyed Me Was She Went 2 See Johnny And James! I Guess Johnny Likes Her More Then Me. Maybe I Should Just Jump Off A Bridge, Then Maybe Someone Will Care That Im Not Here In The Morning. I Take That Back No One Would Care, I Think They'd Just Throw A Party.
~ Ponyboy Curtis
No Longer Happy